


Some Days

by AshsHorrorShow



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Depression, Drabble, Gen, Loneliness, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 16:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11536197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshsHorrorShow/pseuds/AshsHorrorShow
Summary: Some days, Mami couldn't help but feel lonely.





	Some Days

Some days, Mami Tomoe couldn’t help but feel cheated.

She knew it was immature of her. Honestly, she should be grateful that she got to be alive and breathing still. Her family certainly hadn’t gotten that kind of luxury, no thanks to her. But when she met other magical girls and heard what they wished for, she couldn’t help but feel a small seed of jealousy that would get planted in her stomach at the fact they got the chance to contemplate for their wishes. They had time to weigh the pros and cons of their decision, to consider the consequences. She hadn’t gotten that kind of privilege. Her choice had been pretty clear at the time: make a wish and live or lay their in the burning wreckage and perish like everyone else in that horrible accident.

There hadn’t been time to contemplate. In fact, her wish had been a shot in the dark. When Kyubey had padded up to her, she thought he was a hallucination that she had made up in her mind. Her vision had been extremely warped after all. When he said to make a wish, she had basically said the only thing her mind could coherently think. Her vision had actually gone black… but when she woke up, her body was perfectly intact and she was miles away from the wreckage with Kyubey staring down at her. 

She had thought of the cat thing as a guardian angel at the time. But now that she thought more about it, she couldn’t help the inkling of a feeling that the reason Kyubey had chosen her in the first place was because she was easy. She was still grateful to them of course, but she doubted the reason they had helped her was for less than humanitarian reasons. Kyubey had a job after all: to create magical girls. And she was a bargain. She had to make a wish or die. She had almost no choice. She didn’t need to be convinced.

But that was fine, she supposed. Being transformed into a magical girl enabled her to do more good than she ever would’ve done in her regular old life. By killing Witches and Familiars, who caused nothing but death and despair everywhere they went, she felt like she was somewhat making up for the fact she had only saved herself in that accident.

Sometimes, that line of thinking made her feel a little better and want to continue onwards. 

Other days though, it really didn’t.

Most days, Mami would walk home to her empty apartment after a day of hunting Witches and Familiars, make herself some tea or a meal… and try her best to not let the overwhelming feeling of loneliness crush and suffocate her.

Some days, Mami considered going out and making friends. But how could she explain her lifestyle to someone normal? Someone normal wouldn’t understand her up and ditching them because a Witch was nearby. She would be regarded as crazy.

She had contemplated magical girls… but after the incident with Kyouko and seeing how viciously territorial other magical girls could be, she abandoned the thought. 

So, she supposed that unless she got lucky, she would just have to continue on without anyone. This was her punishment for her selfishness.

Some days, when Mami was sitting in her empty apartment, she longed to see one of her family members again. She longed for the chance to see them one more time. To appreciate one last day with them. To try and lap up all of their attention. To take advantage of every moment with them. 

Kyubey would remind her all the time that she did good things as a magical girl. She told herself that as well. But even with that knowledge in mind, it didn’t stop the tears from squeezing out of her eyes unbidden on some days. It didn’t stop her from selfishly thinking that she wish she had died with the rest of her family. 

Some day… Mami hoped she could somehow overcome this.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Mami so much. Poor child. You deserved better. 
> 
> As always, critique is wanted and I hope you enjoyed!!! <3


End file.
